mayisboyunca

Neden Yazıyorum?

27 Mayıs 2020

Sevgili okur, günün yazısı bu sefer bir şiir. Elimden geldiğince neden yazdığımı anlatmaya çalıştım. Yazarken bir baktım, kelimeler bu şekilde sıralanmak istiyor. Umarım sever beğenirsin. Bazen bir satır bize tutunur bizimle kalır, izin verirsen buradan da bir cümle seninle kalsın.

***

İÇİMDEKİ BALİNA

El yazından bile nefret ettiğin,

Ama yazmak zorunda olduğun,

Yorgun bir balina gibi

Kıyıya vurduğun,

Hiçbir şeyin seni daha iyi hissettiremediği,

Ellerinin düşüncelerine yetişemediği

Ah işte o günü yaşıyorsun.

Ve bu sözlerimin bile anlaşılmayacağı

Endişesini taşısam da

Dinle,

 

Hayallerin sana 10 beden büyük geldiği zaman,

Sanki tüm dünya seni yeteneksiz, yüzeysel ve amaçsız

buluyormuş gibi hissediyorsan,

Artık denemekten yoruldum bile diyemiyorsan

Çünkü denemekten zaten korkuyorsan,

Ve her şey yapılmış ve başarılmış gibi geliyorsa

Neden olmasın belki de öyledir?

 

Dinle, şu ufak kelime hazinenle dahi

Söyleyeceklerin olabilir ve

tüm hayatın boyunca bir tek kişi bile okuyacak olsa

o satırlar yazılmaya değerdir.

Sen kendin için yaz,

Bakarsın bir gün o kelimelerde biri kendini bulur.

Belki çok uzak bir diyarda, belki paralel bir evrende veya başka bir ülke ya da şehirde

Kelimelerin duyulur ve birinin yarasına merhem olur.

 

Başkalarının acılarına tanıklık ederken,

Kendi acılarımızı daha iyi anlarız.

Kendi acılarımızı daha iyi anlayınca,

Başkalarının acılarına merhamet duymayı öğreniriz.

Başkalarının acılarına merhamet duymayı öğrendiğimizde,

tanıklık etmeyi bırakıp gerçekten yardım etmeye başlayabiliriz.

 

Daire tamamlandığında,

Bu balina son nefesini verirken bu kıyıda,

Acısına tanıklık etmeye değil, merhamet göstermeye gelecek

bir insanlık olması umuduyla.

E. / Mayıs 2020

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