Stop Carrying What Does Not Belong To You

8 Mayıs 2020

Photo by Matteo Massimi on Unsplash

There is a story which I love, about 2 monks and I’m sure you have read or heard before. One of the monks is young, the other older and more experienced. They were walking and they come across a river. A woman is waiting by the river and she’s not able to move across. The older monk carries her on his back to the other side. They part their ways and continue on their journey. The younger monk, after a while, unable to stay silent about the situation, turns to the older monk and says, “How could you carry her on your back, you know we’re not supposed to touch women.” The older monk smiles and says, “I left the woman on the side of the river but you’re still carrying her.

We carry some much weight which doesn’t belong to us, right? There are so many things we assume responsibility for and we adopt from others. Just as in the story there are times the subject matters to us more than the person who’s going through it. The things and jobs we take on in a day, do they all really concern us, or are we meddling ?

Do you get offended when someone says, “Mind your own business!” I know I would if it were 2 years ago and my response would be something like, “you don’t deserve it”. When I come to think of it, interfering in someone else’s work -unless it’s requested- is not something we do to do good. Actually we must check our need to interfere in. Why do we meddle, don’t we have enough things to do?

Why can’t we stop ourselves? I think our main problem is that we have difficulty in accepting things and people as they are. For example my nephew is studying for high school entrance exams and I prepare for him a schedule, but then I feel the need to check hourly what he’s doing. Is he following the schedule, is he behind?  Whereas if I let him be for just one day and at the end of the day, we check how he’s done, even if we find that he remained behind according to his daily schedule, from this experience he can learn an important lesson about time management. Maybe I’ll try this tomorrow 🙂

One of the valuable lessons the Corona virus experience has taught us is to let go of trying to control the situation. Getting mad at people and judging them, criticizing them doesn’t help us. What is the secret to accept what is happening and the people around us as they are. In my opinion, to accept that they are already perfect (because everyone is as it should be) and to leave the idea that they are the wrong individuals that need to be corrected (because this is just our opinion). Recognizing that there is a reason for them to have their flaws in our view, to accept the situation as it is, even though we don’t understand it now.

Leaving the burden of other people’s so called misbehaviour makes us lighter. When we direct our energy to our own business, we improve our lives. Make it a habit to focus on what’s about you in hundreds of thoughts every minute you think of. When you have serious concerns about your loved ones, you can try talking to them. However, ask them if they want this before expressing your opinion. As for your thoughts about what strangers do, think about what your thoughts say about you, what are you feeling right now and what is bothering you.

I wish you all a day that you focus on your own happiness and do not interfere with the work of others but mind your own business and your own pleasure.


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